Impersonation Of Famous Preachers
Statistics confirm that infidelity is the second leading cause of divorce (following money issues).
Infidelity is the betrayal of the vow to “forsake all others, [and] keep [yourself] only unto [your spouse] for as long as you both shall live.”
Many times, we whisper about the illicit affairs of others, especially if they are Christians; but in the case of Christian artist, Da’ T.R.U.T.H (Emanuel Lambert), who admitted that he broke covenant with his wife, Nicole; the couple fought to put their marriage back together and won! Recently, after much prayer and counseling, they reunited and renewed their marriage vows.
Da Truth
“My desire,” stated Lambert, “is that we would be a picture of hope, love, forgiveness and reconciliation for singles and married couples alike and evidence that Christ truly is the remedy for broken relationships.”
Is infidelity unforgivable? Should Christians handle infidelity differently than non-Christians?
Anger, depression, deceit, and mistrust can become overwhelming and keep you from considering alternatives—like whole, healthy, Godly restored relationships.
Here are steps that promote healing and can mend a marriage after an affair:
* Be accountable to God first, and then your spouse. Take responsibility for your actions; apologize and repent. End the affair, and stop all interaction or communication with that person.
* Be honest with God first, yourself and then your spouse. No one needs to hear all the intricate details, however you must be willing to talk about what led to the infidelity (e.g., feelings of low self-esteem, neglect, needing to feel affirmed and cared for by another, etc.). If the truth is not shared, the other person will be left to guess and wonder.
* Take your time; consider the whole picture. It may take time to sort out what’s happened, but consider the other parties that will be devastated if your marriage ends— your children, in-laws, friends and church members. Restoring your marriage will take time, energy and commitment.
Have you and your spouse been through the horror of infidelity? Is there trust after the truth comes out? Is it possible to forgive and love again after your partner has been a part of an illicit affair outside of your marriage covenant? Some say it’s possible to stay together, others say no! How do you feel?
Married adults now divorce two-and-a-half times as often as adults did 20 years ago and four times as often as they did 50 years ago. According to the book, Marriages, Families & Intimate Relationships, between 40% and 60% of new marriages will eventually end in divorce.
What happens when the strain on the marriage has more to do with a deficit of love, communication and genuine caring? These are marriages that are operating in the “red” because one or both partners have decided that investing in the relationship is no longer important or necessary. If these marriages were bank accounts there would be a serious negative balance.
Many couples (Christian and otherwise) are looking for a solution to this lonely existence that is many times plagued by infidelity, abandonment, abuse and neglect. In a recent counseling session with Tony and Yvette we discovered the deposits of love and care were so infrequent that they both believed divorce was the only answer.
After a series of sessions where both husband and wife were forced to focus on their personal issues and ways that they could improve the relationship instead of placing blame, this couple is back on track toward marital bliss. So what can couples do when they discern that they’re romance is in the “red?”
INTROSPECT – Observe, examine and report your own thoughts and feelings. Search your own soul. Stop pointing the finger and ask yourself, “What can I do to make things in my relationship better?”
INITIATE – Once you’ve given serious, focused attention to your own issues,
needs and desires, do something about it. Begin with communicating the aforementioned to your spouse. Tell them what you like, dislike, want, and most importantly what you are willing to give.
EVALUATE – People don’t do what you expect, they do what you inspect. Agree with your partner on those things each of you will do to improve your marriage and then hold one another accountable in love (no arguing, fussing or nagging… just gentle reminding).
CELEBRATE – If you “plan your work and work your plan” you will find success. Implement the above action steps and watch your relationship blossom and bloom. Celebrate the milestones, go out on a date, have a dinner party, go on a mini-vacation, simply to celebrate your love for one another.
On the mission field you see a lot of things, hear a lot of things, feel a lot of things. But the hardest thing to overcome is the voices in your head.
You know what I’m talking about. They’re not audible (we’re not talking schizophrenia here), they don’t make logical sense, but they’re always there. Hanging on your every hang-up, weakness, and self-doubt, those voices know exactly how to get to you. And even though there’s no actual proof for 99% of it, you just feel that it’s so believable.
Oh, I had those voices before. Before I was a Christian, before I entered missions. I think—I know—a lot of people hear these voices, too. It’s just being human. But stepping onto Satan’s territory, the volume goes up. Way up. And the attacks are much more precise, delving deeper into your psyche than ever before. There they are, lurking at every turn, sometimes so out of the blue that it almost literally knocks the wind out of you.
“They don’t want you here.”
“You can’t do this.”
“It all seems hopeless.”
“What if you get kicked out of the country?”
“You’re an imposter.”
“How will you survive if the funds take a nose dive?”
“They will never see you as anything more than a foreigner with an alien agenda.”
“You deserve better.”
“You’ve done your time; why keep on going?”
You don’t usually see the arrows coming. Funny thing is, the arrows don’t hit; they just whizz by, uncomfortably close but not an actual strike. I don’t know what it is, but it seems to come when nothing’s wrong, no one’s started anything, and there’s absolutely nothing in the physical world to point to. Just these weird convictions that seem to come out of nowhere, sound seductively simple yet true. And they’re not.
But I don’t give in to them. I can’t. I won’t. Partly because I’m stubborn, but more because I can’t sense God in any of it. None of it makes sense, and quite frankly, they’re all lies. I’ve got no proof and, what’s more, it’s never revealed to me when I’m in my quiet time or any time I’m focussing on God. Never. Not once.
So what do I do? Conquer by continuing. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Pray, pray, and pray some more. Because if my time here on earth has taught me anything, it’s that Satan starts to ramp up the attacks when you’re stepping on his toes and close to a breakthrough for God’s Kingdom. I’ve seen so many missionaries give up on something that they thought was impossible—only to find out that if they’d waited a couple of months, things would have been so much different, better, right.
I can’t take that risk.
marrypotter:
Day into Night
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“…….The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch.” Acts 11:26
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imquitefly:
chasing after you
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Juanita Bynum (via liareyes)